Jealousy is not my friend!

Yesterday I was confronted by an old ‘friend’ who seemed to have been missing for so long that I genuinely had thought of as gone-forever!

No such luck. Jealousy had not left the building, but had been lying dormant as there was no need for it to pop out to visit. It is so long since I felt passionate about anything. Jealousy is an emotion that is very passionate.

When the emotion arose, it was visceral, acrid, overwhelming. There was nothing soft and gentle in it. It took my breath away for a few minutes. Oh my God, I wondered, where on Earth has this come from?

Jealousy has been part of my journey through life. I believe it stems from so many spheres. Not feeling good enough or worthy enough, and then when someone sees some worth in me, I have to own and control that person. Keep them to myself. At all costs.

This idea flies in the face of the unconditional Love base from which I want to operate. I would hate it if someone wanted to control me and my actions.

I turned to some friends for help in resolving this for me. I also spent some quiet time of my own, working out how it is that I wanted to respond in future.

Emotions come from our thoughts, and we are in charge of what we think.  And something like jealousy is such a knee–jerk reaction that comes from habit!

I have trained myself to think positively. For so long I clung to my woe-is-me, born on a Wednesday and therefore entitled to be woe-full!

I kicked that one in to touch. I rarely am down – and when I am, I work to understand why I am, and then find a way out of it. At times, it is also necessary to honour and respect the sadness and just sit with it, and not just ignore it. I find sitting quietly with it works as long as I am clear about the fact that it is temporary!  

I am pleased to report that within a very short space of time, I was able to not only put jealousy aside, but was also able to see how open and honest I could be about having felt it in the first place.

To the beautiful Angel who has appeared in my Life, I say thank you. Mostly for being Who You Are, but also for bringing me this gift of shining the Light on that part of me that needed some serious work! You probably had no idea what would come of asking one seemingly simple question.

 I am eternally grateful to you for asking it!