Suddenly, the words senile dementia and alzheimers are starting to become a part of my vocabulary. Suddenly, too, I have to start confronting my own old age, especially since I am not exactly a spring chicken!
When I left my ex 12 years ago, I moved in with my Dad for a few months while I waited for the process of the divorce to unfold and to get a new home for myself. This week, Dad asked where J is - and I said he is probably with his wife. He looked at me in confusion. Are you divorced now? No-one tells me anything!
Gently I explained that there were two important things - number one - as we get older, we choose which facts and memories to keep and we discard the rest, because our brain is overloaded. and number two - it is only important that I remember that I am divorced!
Slowly but surely, I have to let go of Dad. Precious Soul that he is. If you never got the chance to meet him - you missed out BIG TIME! A gentle Soul. A loving man and father. Loyal. Caring and eager to help. I always knew that if I needed a plumber at 3am, Dad would come to help me!
I am now the parent of my parent. It is hard and frustrating - more so than being the parent of a child. I know that once upon a time, Dad was far wiser than me. He still is - but it is no longer evident. His world has shrunk along with his attention span.
The next stage in my life is looming. Within a year or two - maybe more, I shall become the eldest in the family I grew up in - Mum is gone, older sister is gone, and my brother is younger.
Wow. I never imagined that things would turn out this way. But they have. And that is what happens ...
1 comment:
Beautiful Ali! Thank you.
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