Going home ... that phrase always held a sense of comfort for me. Going home meant going back to things that are familiar. A place of rest. A place that holds treasured articles, fond memories, and what I call ~ a soft place to land ~
There is also another meaning that this holds for me ... going home. To where I came from. When I am done with this lifetime. When I am ready to move on to whatever happens beyond this physical lifetime. Going home in this sense appeals when this lifetime is tough and challenging ...and I will go home, one day, when the time is perfect ....
Going home right now means something a little different. It means leaving my daughter with whom I have spent the last few weeks. Leaving her and her partner, and flying South for many hours ...from the icy cold winter of the North to the warmth of an African summer.
So near, and yet so far.
This time, going home to the place where I live, where I have friends and family, where I get to earn the money I need to live on this planet, where I have a beautiful cat who is lonely for my company, where there are most of the things that make up my life ~ this time, going home does not appeal as much as usual.
It brings up too many questions.
About who I am. What I want to do. What I need to shed of the Old to make way for the New.
It brings up a million questions, and I have very few answers.
This time, going home means I can no longer avoid finding the answers to the questions I have. It is time for me to discover who I am, and what I really, really, really want from this lifetime.
It is time for me to be bold. To claim and stand in my own power. It is time for me to stand up and be counted in a way I have never done before.
Because what has worked up till now, has not been enough. Slowly but surely, I have drifted away from my dream. I have allowed it to erode bit by bit. I have put my Life on hold ~ for seemingly good reason ... but I have fooled myself. Only me. No-one else has been fooled.
I will allow my inner strength to emerge. I will look at my own Life with kind eyes and an open heart. I will see the beauty of what I have to offer. I allow that beauty to permeate every vision I have of myself. For myself.
No longer am I content to be an observer of my own life. I will be an active participant in this universal dance of Loving and Living and Growing and Sharing.
In doing so, I will create the time and the space and the energy that allows me to find that soft place to land. I deserve that place where I feel Loved and Supported.
In a few days, I will arrive at the place I call home, for the first time in 2011
It is going to be an interesting journey. And with just a smattering of trepidation, I am looking forward to it, and I am eager to see how it all unfolds.
Somewhere, inside of me, resides the courage I need for taking those steps. Time to unwrap that particular gift!
To quote my favourite author:
Here is a test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't.
Richard Bach
3 comments:
"No matter direction or destination, home is where you are." ~ G. LATIMER DARKFOOT ~
Home is wherever you go, whether to the UK, China or Timbuktu.
Maybe the home is growing and changing, and with change comes questions, which is good.
But the re-assessing of who you have become, the things you don't like you can deal with, one at a time.
The things you have learnt, you have to pass on to those who are in process of learning.
It is like the old oak tree. May many draw on the blessing you bestow upon them. The cool in the heat of sun. A place of refuge, for a while, for them to find their own feet and voice.
thank you Iain and M for your feedback ....
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