Love is all there is

Love is all there is. That is it. Nothing more to say. Love is all there is.

My brother has decided that he will no longer visit our very frail, gentle old Dad - because he mistakenly believes he is no longer named in the Will as an heir. I have an idea of how he came to believe this misinformation - and despite my assurance that the information he is assuming is incorrect, he is choosing to ignore my letters telling him how much Dad wants to see him, how much Dad misses him.
At the outset here, I want to say that I understand my brothers feelings - if it were true that he was removed from the Will, I can certainly understand how that would be very hurtful. However, he is punishing himself and our Dad for no valid reason.
I have struggled over this issue for months now. Dad is so saddened and hurt that he asked me to call the lawyer in so that he could lash back by rewriting the Will, excluding his son. I explained that I felt that he only wanted to do that because he Loves his son so much and is hurting because of his absence, not because he hates him.
I said that if he needs me to call the lawyer to take that drastic action, then he needs to put it in writing for me, so that I am sure that he knows exactly what he is doing and why ... Dad cannot call the lawyer himself as he is too deaf to use the phone.
My moods and thoughts swing so much on this issue. Surely one does not equate Love and Inheritance? When Dad had his stroke, I used to visit him more than twice a day ... it took years before I could find it possible to give myself a day off from visiting him - I would hate to be in his situation, with none of my offspring or family visiting me. I do for my Dad what I would appreciate someone doing for me if I was incapacitated. My dad was always - and I mean always - available for us. No matter the time of day. No matter what needed doing. Fix a tap? Sure. Drive us somewhere? No problem. Borrow some cash. Its a pleasure.
My Dad is awesome. He is frail, forgetful, old, hard of hearing ....but he is my Dad and I love him beyond measure.I cannot imagine Loving him less if he was poor or homeless or a beggar on the street. I love my Dad because he is the one I chose as my dad. He is part of the path I chose. And I have to find a way to be at peace with the path he and my brother have chosen.
My sadness stems from the loss of their relationship - there is not much time left for my Dad and brother to enjoy each others company.
I am also sad because I no longer get to have a real relationship with Dad - all our interactions now are to do with explaining where my brother is, and why he is choosing to ignore him. Son is the main focus in his life now. All I do is answer the eternal questions  ..  have you heard from him? have you seen him? why did he not come to say happy birthday to me for my 89th? it was a weekend, not a work day - surely he could have found a few minutes. I have lost a lot of my connection to Dad ... it is all about my brother now - and his absence.
Ah well, we all choose our paths .... and I will eventually understand what this part of my journey is all about. I know for sure that when Dad transitions, all will be clear to him, and he will understand.
For now, I just hope that there are days when the conversation will have some other topics.
In the meantime, all I can do is Love my Dad and Love my brother. And be respectful of the paths they have chosen to walk.

When all is said and done, Love is all there is ...


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