creating a new vision

A few weeks ago I undertook to spend an evening with a friend, creating a vision board of what she wanted in her life.

I duly collected some magazines which I thought  may offer a visual idea of what she would like to see in her life.

I was a little hesitant of joining in, because I am notoriously bad at forward planning. I love and embrace my spontaneous nature.

I would merely be the facilitator of her process instead

Come the day, she cancelled.

I put the things aside.

The following evening, a curious part of me awakened.

What, I wondered, would my vision look like? I had no basic idea - thought if I paged through enough magazines - and I had a really good mixture of titles, I would find just the right pictures.

Paged through the first one. Saw a few possibilities, but as soon as I gave the picture more than a momentary glance, I would think - well, yes, perhaps, but....not really all that important.

By the time I got to the fourth magazine, I started to be concerned. How come there was nothing that really appealed? Who am I if I have no idea what I want and where I want to go? Did I know me at all?

I then found a title of a story which had the words 'paths less travelled' in the text, so I claimed that for my board. It resonated so well with me.

Still no pictures appealed to me. Oh, it would be nice to have a home with a sea view. A luxury motor vehicle.  You know what I mean. But I did not want them enough to make them part of my vision.

I popped onto a facebook group to share my quandary with some others. I started out saying that I could not find pictures, who am I, am stuck, need help blah blah blah. But before I posted it, I realised that those three little words were all I required!

I grabbed the glue, stuck the words down in the centre

                                     Paths Less Travelled


grabbed the glitter glue and drew paths leading all over the world - and squiggles depicting waves on the water, circles as wheels that would take me where I wanted to go, and all the words that seemed important to me
          
                  Yes! Love! Exciting! Yes! (again) Together! Fun! Adventure! New!

Now, to be honest, the artist in me is somewhat dormant. That is new-speak for being pretty darned useless at art! What is in my head cannot be translated onto paper, because I am too impatient to get it all done! Sorry, not impatient - spontaneous and eager!


The end result is beautiful. Not pretty, mind you. But is came from my Heart and is therefore beautiful.

I had no idea what I was creating in that moment - well, in five minutes - it is not exactly a Work of Art, as such!

It only took FIVE days to work. Five days later I met a wonderful new friend. It is Yes, exciting, fun, adventure, new and Yes, together there is Love.

Amazing.

The Path Less Travelled for me has many layers.

It is the depth of the connection. The overwhelming enormity of meeting a Soul Mate. It is almost beyond my comprehension. I am coming to terms with it. Slowly. Savouring it.

It is learning to trust. To trust myself. To trust my intuition and good judgement. To trust a man. Indeed, to trust anyone other than me.

This Soul Mate lives elsewhere in the world. Meeting him would require me to follow a path I have never travelled before.

I look forward to that meeting. Wherever. Whenever.

What I have learned along the way is that although it only seemed to take FIVE days, it really took much longer than that. Allowing myself to open my Heart to another, to get it out of the fortress in which it has been locked for more years that I care to admit, has taken a long time. It surely has taken me all my life to get to this point.

Now I am ready to create my next vision board.

Happiness

Happiness

Most of humanity is craving it
Searching for it in the most bizarre places.
In bottles of perfume.
In bottles of alcohol
In bottles of drugs

On top of mountains
Under the sea

In a hamburger and chips
or even in a salad

searching high and low
inside and out
left and right
up and down

on the internet
in a book
at the feet of a guru

in the words of a song
in the beat of the music
in the gym
in the eyes of a lover

But ................

Happiness is an inside job

It is the way you FEEL, It is a CHOICE you make

Go ahead - choose Happy. Feel Happy. BE Happy.

Just because it feels so good!

Jealousy is not my friend!

Yesterday I was confronted by an old ‘friend’ who seemed to have been missing for so long that I genuinely had thought of as gone-forever!

No such luck. Jealousy had not left the building, but had been lying dormant as there was no need for it to pop out to visit. It is so long since I felt passionate about anything. Jealousy is an emotion that is very passionate.

When the emotion arose, it was visceral, acrid, overwhelming. There was nothing soft and gentle in it. It took my breath away for a few minutes. Oh my God, I wondered, where on Earth has this come from?

Jealousy has been part of my journey through life. I believe it stems from so many spheres. Not feeling good enough or worthy enough, and then when someone sees some worth in me, I have to own and control that person. Keep them to myself. At all costs.

This idea flies in the face of the unconditional Love base from which I want to operate. I would hate it if someone wanted to control me and my actions.

I turned to some friends for help in resolving this for me. I also spent some quiet time of my own, working out how it is that I wanted to respond in future.

Emotions come from our thoughts, and we are in charge of what we think.  And something like jealousy is such a knee–jerk reaction that comes from habit!

I have trained myself to think positively. For so long I clung to my woe-is-me, born on a Wednesday and therefore entitled to be woe-full!

I kicked that one in to touch. I rarely am down – and when I am, I work to understand why I am, and then find a way out of it. At times, it is also necessary to honour and respect the sadness and just sit with it, and not just ignore it. I find sitting quietly with it works as long as I am clear about the fact that it is temporary!  

I am pleased to report that within a very short space of time, I was able to not only put jealousy aside, but was also able to see how open and honest I could be about having felt it in the first place.

To the beautiful Angel who has appeared in my Life, I say thank you. Mostly for being Who You Are, but also for bringing me this gift of shining the Light on that part of me that needed some serious work! You probably had no idea what would come of asking one seemingly simple question.

 I am eternally grateful to you for asking it!