Now, to become an orphan is one thing - and to become an orphan when your owns sands of time are running out, is another. When you are young and you lose your parents, it is probably very tough. But there is also an inbuilt resilience that comes with youth.
Being thrust into this scenario when one is almost looking for free bus passes is way different from what I ever would have imagined.
Since my divorce, my Dear Dad has pretty much been my primary relationship - and therefore the loss of him is acute. There was never any decision ever made about my life without factoring Dad into the equation. Trips to the other side of the world to visit my daughter had me organising friends and family to oversee him. Make sure he had enough treats, enough company. I sent emails to the care home - WITH BIG PRINT - so that he could keep up to date with me and read it himself!
Now I am beginning to wonder Who I Am? I was pretty sure I knew the answer before he left, but I am certainly not quite so sure any more. Suddenly, I have no parents. Suddenly, I am the Big Person in my life! Suddenly, I have to stand up all by myself - it is like being just a few months old again - learning to do everything independently!
Since I am struggling to come to terms with it all, I think I will be posting here more often - mostly in search of those damned marbles that seem to be going AWOL!
I eagerly await the unfolding of the Me I have always kind of been ...but more so. I know it sounds odd - but I really care not a jot - as long as it makes sense to me!
just a little reminder for Me ...I can be happy during this process ....
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